I recently signed my son up for swimming lessons. He’s actually pretty good, but I’m not sure if that’s because he has a knack for it or because he has a really spastic crawling style that translates well to swimming. I also think he really enjoys it. But that’s because he’s too young to understand THE POOL IS FILLED WITH PEE.
Typically, swimming pools don’t bother me that much. But the place where he goes for lessons caters to children and babies. In his swim class, students are required to wear a swim diaper. In theory, the swim diaper will contain any bowel movements while letting urine out and into the pool. I’m not sure how that works, because as a breastfed baby, his bowel movements are pretty liquidy. I’m hoping I never have to find out how the swim diaper works, but I do know that it lets out pee. And so do all the other kids’ diapers. And, hell, you KNOW that out of a class of ten, probably two of the adults are peeing in the pool too. So, the pool is filled with pee.
Fortunately, my son is still too young to blow bubbles. So when it’s time for everyone to do that, I pretend to blow bubbles, because I am not putting my mouth in that nasty water. I’m really looking forward to the day I can observe his swim lessons from the safety of the observation area, away from the disgusting pee water. Also, I’m never signing him up for another activity that requires I shave my legs.