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Your Guide to Online Parenting Acronyms

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I hate acronyms. HATE them. Perhaps this is because I used to work for a company that was infatuated with confusing acronyms. Maybe it’s because it just looks lazy. Maybe it’s because using acronyms excludes people who aren’t “in the know.” There’s a really good article about this over at Offbeat Families.

Whatever it is, I can’t stand them. And acronyms used in parenting forums online are the WORST.

DD/DS/DH. Is it really that hard to write out the titles of your family members? LO is worse than all of these. Just say, “my kid.” VBAC isn’t that bad, because “Vaginal birth after cesarean” is a mouthful. I just used it because it’s one you see a lot. VBAC’s probably one of the only ones I’m ok with though.

I guess the purpose it to make things easier, but it doesn’t. First, no one knows what these things mean unless you refer to an extensive dictionary. Second, some of these abbreviations have multiple meanings. FF can mean “Formula Feeding,” but I usually see it as “Forward Facing” on car seat forums.
Frankly, I think people who use these acronyms are morons. Maybe they’re using them to cover up the fact they can’t spell. I’m not talking about typos, either. I’m talking about parents who write a post online, see that every other word is underlined in red and think, “You know what the world needs? More of ME. Time to procreate.” Except they wouldn’t actually say procreate. They’d say TBD, which means “the baby dance,” which means sex, but they wouldn’t say sex because again, these people are idiots.

I swear, I’m not typically this pedantic. I’m very forgiving of typos, most grammatical mistakes, spelling; but when I literally have no idea what you’re saying because you’re wrote something in all acronyms, then I start smdh.

About carrtoons@gmail.com

Chelsea Carr has been cartooning for over ten years. Currently, she works as the editorial cartoonist for Harford County’s The Aegis and The Record. She has also had her work included in MAD Magazine, b, and Baltimore’s City Paper. Chelsea holds a B.F.A. from the Maryland Institute, College of Art (2005) and an M.A.T. from Johns Hopkins University (2011.) In addition to cartooning and being a first-time mother, she has worked as an elementary school art teacher.

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